Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Good Day to Die Hard review

I hope this movie doesn't kill the Die Hard franchise, but I wouldn't be surprised if it did. Unfortunately, the movie is pretty much as bad as the critics are saying. It breaks my heart to say this, but this movie really did just flat out suck. Seriously, can I erase the 90+ minutes of the movie from my memory so that the term bad Die Hard movie doesn't exist?

 If you thought Live Free or Die Hard was laughably cartoonish, wait until you see this movie. This movie makes all of the other DH movies look like documentaries by comparison. Now, the movie doesn't start out all that bad. There is a car chase early in the movie on the streets of Moscow that, while utterly preposterous even by Die Hard standards, was still pretty entertaining. Heck, the hotel room scene wasn't that bad either. It was kind of cool. This movie didn't officially loose me until me get to Chernobyl. And then it becomes utter shit.

 John Moore's direction is extremely lousy. We are talking amateur hour here. The beginning of this movie contains WAY too many zoom ins and outs. It's as if Moore was given a camcorder for the first time and he over does the zoom in and outs. It gets so incredibly aggravating. And then during the climax in Chernobyl, he over uses slow motion. And that got so damn annoying that I was starting to miss the zooms.

 Then we have the movie's pitiful attempt at creating some father/son drama and shit about how John was never there for his kids because he was always working. BOO-FUCKING-HOO! None of this stuff works. It feels completely phony. It is so badly written.

 But perhaps the most disappointing thing of all in this movie is John McClane himself, and most notably Bruce Willis. I can't believe I'm saying this, but McClane actually comes off as kind of annoying a lot of times. This is not the likeable, affable and badass John McClane from previous films. He's constantly bitching about how he's on vacation. Oh, I get it that it's suppose to come off as funny. It's not. And Bruce Willis is practically sleep walking through this entire movie. His performance is completely phoned in. He puts no energy into the movie whatsoever. It almost feels as if like he just doesn't give a damn anymore. Ugh.

 This may be the single most disappointing movie I have EVER seen! It's jaw-dropping how awful this movie gets. And the very last scene just made me want to roll my eyes. This is not a Die Hard movie. This is a very bad parody of a Die Hard movie! At 97 minutes in length, this is easily the shortest of all the Die Hard movies. But it FEELS like the longest by a landslide.

Grade: C-

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